Closure.

For some reason, I feel very intimidated whenever I am alone with a person. If you ask me to explain why I feel so, I really cannot.

So...I 'll share this with any soul that comes across this blog.
Ever since I was a kid, I avoided one-on-one time with anyone...because I don't like being alone with a person.  Maybe that's why no one never knew what my real self is (honestly, I haven't been very honest XD)....and I find comfort in telling a person that I don't know, about things that I don't talk about with my friends in person. Maybe, just maybe, I don't like telling people things about me to their faces. I noticed that recently, whenever I tell a person something, I look at something else...I never look at them.

Mind you, I prefer being with large amounts of people because if it's just a one-on-one thing, I feel restricted....and sometimes embarrassed. I guess it's because of the concentration of attention on me. I just don't like it. There's this nagging gut feeling that tells me, "This is awkward/frustrating. I want out."

I'm like a neuron, firing at an all-or-none fashion: be with a lot of people or be with no one at all. I think that's the best explanation that I can find...about my predicament. I don't know!!!!



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